It's feeling a little heavy.....

Today was a pretty heavy day.  Pat's parents and I went to the funeral home, and talked about the arrangements.   As if being in the funeral home wasn't bad enough itself, I have no idea how we are going to pay for this.  After we picked everything out, the grand total came to roughly $8,000, and that doesn't even include the burial plot.  My head is in a whirlwind right now, and I can't even think straight.  So, humbly, I am asking for your help.  This whole experience has been a humbling one.  I am so grateful that so many people are reaching out to my family, and everyone seems to have perfect timing.  I feel so blessed to call many of you my friends.  I have formed so many new relationships, that I know will be lasting ones.  I feel bonds with people that I haven't felt in years, or maybe never had to begin with, and it's completely amazing to me.  Through all the tears, I can already see God at work.

A few days before Pat passed away, I was up writing on the blog, and I started thinking to myself.  I started to feel guilty, because this is supposed to be Pat's Journey, yet here I was revealing all of my personal, heartfelt feelings.  Then I realized something.  So many people that were reading my blog, were coming to know him through my heart, and my words.  There are people following this blog, who knew Pat, and loved him.  But there were also many people reading, that had never got the privilege to meet him, who were, in a sense, meeting him, and loving him, through my eyes.  And I find it beautiful. 

I also have found that writing this blog, and Pat's story, from my heart of hearts, has been so therapeutic for me.  It helps some to be able to let loose, and get it all out.  There is no one there to interrupt me, it's just me and my thoughts, and a keyboard.  It has honestly been such a huge blessing. 

I cannot write long tonight, as I have another long day ahead of me tomorrow.  I just wanted to get a little off of my heart...it was feeling a little heavy.